If you haven't already, go see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Yes it's extremely hyped, blah blah, but I believe it deserves every bit of hype that it's been getting. I was in love with every character and had to force myself not to cry at some points. (I hate crying in movie theatres, I'll wait to cry when I watch it at home. Quarantine is one exception because I was scared out of my mind.) Anyway, just go see it.

New Years Eve was quite fun with my closer friends from home. (With the exception of Ateret. LAME.)
Now an awesome boy is still sitting here with me.
My back's a little sore but whatever I suppose.

Yay winter break.

So, middle of the second week back at school and this is my situation:
1. I have my period.
2. I'm already sick. My temperature earlier was only 99.1 but now it has climbed to 99.6. I'm hoping that's as high as it goes.
3. I got a parking ticket for not having a parking permit displayed in my car. Why wasn't it displayed in my car? Because I didn't get it in the mail until today! 

...So those are all the bad things but seeing as I'm feeling miserable and generally displeased at the moment those are what I'm going to focus on first, of course.

4. My single kicks ass. I don't care if I'm back in freshmen dorms, really. This room makes me so happy.
5. I'm back at FP. Which really for the most part outweighs all the badness going on today.


I need sleep hardcore.

6 days until I move in. Thank fucking god. Sitting here for two weeks with nothing to do and most people already headed back to school is not really my favorite thing in the world. So the plan as of now is: going to Alex's house Saturday to stay the night (this way the drive is split into two shorter drives), then finishing the trip and hopefully moving in Sunday afternoon, then my Sam boy is probably coming to stay Sunday night with me, then breakfast with the parents Monday morning, then back to the same old same old. And it turns out I'm going to have only one set of everything in my room so I'm going to have lots of extra space for friends to sleep on the floor... HINT HINT, ALLIE & CO.

The only thing that's going to suck about this semester is how I'm getting kicked in the ass for having a small, close group of friends. Ben and Molly have transferred, Marcus isn't coming back (I will reserve my opinions on that one), and Ashley and Myste are leaving for Greece for a semester :( All around lame. This means I have to go out and be social all over again to find new people to occupy my time. Scary stuff O.O But I suppose it's time for me to relearn those skills.

One more time may I say: FBROIUJRFBJE;OSALDKMFC     FINALLY!

So I've been reading a lot the past week... Finished 'Haunted' by Palahniuk Saturday night. Didn't read Sunday but picked up 'What I Talk About When I Talk About Running' by Murakami. Yesterday I began and finished 'What I Talk About...'. This morning I started 'Neverwhere' by Gaiman (yes, finally, I know, I've only had the book four years) and am already half way through it. I like when I go through my super reading spurts like this, especially because I won't have much time to read soon. I'm sad, though, because in comparison to last year my overall reading has gone down. I'm only on my 11th of the year if my count is right. I did almost two a month last year. Lame.

OK. So I don't care how great and amazing Michael Phelps is. I will always remember when I hated him 4-5 years ago because whenever he was practicing at the pool it was super crowded and I couldn't go play. Little did I know at the time he was going to the Olympics... twice... and apparently ending up one of the top Olympians ever...? Ah well. I just wanted to swim.

I can already tell my strength has gone up and I've already lost a few pounds due to my exercising. Who knew this could happen if I actually started being active again?

OK, and something I just saw while watching the Olympics, which must be one of the most depressing things ever: getting the world record in the first round of a semifinal and then having it taken away from you in the next round. That's gotta suck hardcore.

...Now I'm just trying to waste time and not fall asleep. Failing miserably at entertaining myself... Ah well. Off I go for now then.

Three weeks from this moment I will be in a car almost up to FP.

Finally.


I miss them like whoa.

So I'm in a really crappy mood right now. Partially because I'm really tired and haven't been able to sleep properly since last week and I have no idea why that is.


Sigh. OK. Deep breath, feeling much better. So was that a bit of an overreaction? Yes. But was it all true? Also yes. Her parents are nice, and I really like them, even the dad's getting better. And Taylor has her very nice moments but. UGH. Anyway. I'm done with that.

So, now that I'm not so pissed and just blah, I will mention how I've come to the conclusion that this summer has kind of sucked. So: this summer has kind of sucked. I don't know what happened this year. I feel like I've been really busy, but looking back I'm not entirely sure what with (other than work). I've barely been able to see anyone at all. I've seen Eric once. I've seen Kristen and Tom twice. The rest of the Legacy kids I've only seen once. And I'm lucky if I get together with the RP people even once a week. This is drastically different than it was last summer, but I haven't been able to figure out why it's worked out like this. I feel like people are gone much more. Like we're all busier and our schedules aren't matching up. Whatever the reason, it sucks. And it's simply strengthened my decision to have this be the last summer at home, as guilty as I feel about not coming back to my parents. But that's how it goes. Moving on, bouncing out of the nest, I don't know, actually trying to do this adult thing? Yeah. Guess it's about time.

Less than four weeks until I'm back at school. fabifcbndoavmoirabedniufa. OK. I can totally do this.


PS: I'm listening to my mom talking to the pizza delivery person. Why can no one ever find our street? And why can no one ever understand it's called The Terraces. Not: Terrace Rd. Not: Terrace Ave. Nothing like that. THE. Terraces. That's all it is. Sigh. I need to get sleep so I can stop being a bitch.

So I'm exhausted because I didn't get enough sleep last night and what to I come home to? Cat shit on my comforter -.- Apparently Mickey was hiding under my bed this morning when I left and I shut him in the room. Now I have no comforter until I take it to the laundromat. (You know, I think I've gone my entire 19 years and 10 months without ever writing or typing that word before, hm...)

I've been reading Haunted by Palahniuk and I'm absolutely loving it. I was very skeptical at the beginning when I felt like I was going to be sick while reading the pearl diving story... but now it's just staying the path of being psychologically disturbing instead of gory, eat-your-own-intestine disturbing. (Sorry to anyone reading this, but at least I didn't describe it in detail like the book.) Perhaps I have too much of an attraction to "fucked up" stories. My mom was horrified when I told her about the end to The End of Alice by A.M. Homes. That book was so well written though. And Murakami isn't disturbing and he's my favorite so perhaps it isn't so bad.

Excited for our Mummy movie marathon this week in preparation for the new one! Despite my current feelings about Brendan Fraser (me? still bitter about the Inkheart casting? never....) I will forever love The Mummy and do so without shame. And I haven't seen the second in ages. Feel like I wasn't much of a fan, considering I consistently say "the second one doesn't exist", but I will revisit it. And Mummy 3 this weekend! WHOO!

And biggest and best of all... Soul Calibur IV came out yesterday! Ups and downs noticed already but at least it's better than three. I won't give my full report because no one cares but I will say this: FUCK THE APPRENTICE.

End.

Sooooooooooo, I'm back from Sam's. Which is how lame life can be. But then again the whole trip was obviously just as awesome as life can be. ;ldxxxmckxzzzngkltd;projiruhrbhfcvgbsiugv. That boy is so amazing.

Back to work tomorrow. I think it's a week with a Friday in it... Yup, it is. Just like the two weeks after that. Thankfully I'll be making money but I'm afraid the girl will have killed me by then. Ah, though I did just remember I think I'm supposed to be watching her friend on Fridays too. Meaning, I get paid extra and she'll have someone to play with. Easy enough for me. Remember, I actually liked this girl quite a bit last year? She was cute, nice, fun to play with. Now she lies to her parents and I constantly, throws fits about every little thing she doesn't want to do and constantly demands things. What the hell happened in a year? Bleh. Oh yeah, not to mention she's decided to test the limits of her blood sugar to see what happens when she doesn't bolus or boluses too much. I'll tell you what happens. She has diabetes. She would die! Ugh, she's scared me half to death multiple times this summer. She was soooo good about it last year -.-

Ah well, I probably won't be working for them next summer anyway if all goes as planned. So just a few more weeks. Whoo.

It seems the happier I get the more nervous I get. I am in a permanent state of being terrified of losing whatever happiness I have rather than fully enjoying it while I have it. I'm so reluctant to believe good things are really as fantastic as they seem. Perhaps it's because, at least it feels this way, that up until now good things have ended up screwing me over. So I'm just afraid. It comes and goes, but so far it's always come back. I'm scared of what might happen. And I've always been the one saying "fuck what's coming, right now is all that's important." But I've never been the care free rebel I thought it would be so awesome to be. The closest I've come is filling my ears with metal. Whoo! So hardcore! Right? Yeah... Ah well, I love it anyway.

So here's to those big, bad, scary possibilities, I suppose and clinging desperately to those things I think might be stable. Hm... yeah, my head hurts. I'm out.

Oh, and, by the way, Wednesday night? Yeah, what the hell. Could you get here a little bit faster please? I don't think I've asked you any favors before, Wednesday, all my life, I think you owe me this one. So if you can get on that it'd be awesome. Yeahthanksbye.

Allow me to introduce the most adorable one-year-old that I have ever met.

( yeah, it's from my phone so not great quality and incredibly dark but you can still see the cuteness! )

That would be my niece, Keira! (And how awesome is her name?) Maybe it's just adorable to me because she's my niece, but it makes me smile every time I watch that.

So it was pretty much worth going down this weekend just to spend that half hour by myself with her.

Even if I did have to sit through more awkward conversations with my brother-in-law... At least he tries... I guess.

 Soooo, I haven't updated in forever. I think I'm actually finally moving on from livejournal. Shocking after... 5 or 6 years of addiction. Still been checking it just haven't had the urge to update. 

So I just got back from NH and I'm extremely upset about that, of course, but actually not as much as I expected I would be. Maybe it's because I'm already trying to figure out how I can get up to NY later this summer to make myself feel better. But whatever. As long as I'm not curled up in a little ball feeling sorry for myself that's all that really matters. ...I still wish my boy was closer, though.

Start working next Monday, babysitting again. Whoo. Whatever, at least they're rich and pay me a lot. I should still get another job on top of that if I can. We'll see how that works out. 


...This is why I've stopped updating. I just lost all interest in continuing this entry. Oh well. Later.

Dear homework, 

Kindly kill me and put me out of my misery before I do it myself.

Love, 
Me

I GOT A SINGLE FOR NEXT YEAR! WHOOOO!

So here's to sleeping naked, spread eagled on my bed every night next year and playing Rock Band whenever the hell I want with no one to complain about it! WHOO! 

I probably won't really sleep like that every night. It would get cold, as Sam pointed out. But it's nice to say it just because I could if I wanted to. 

Now for the insane amounts of work I have pushed off for far too long. Bleeeeehhhh.

Four months and everything is as amazing as it could possibly be. I love that boy so much. 

So it's only something like a month until we're out for the summer. I'm ready to be done with classes and all but I'm not looking forward to going another four months without seeing anyone (well at least I know I'll see Sam this summer, but other than that who knows). I have that baby sitting job again which is nice because it pays so much money but I really need to get an actual job at some point. Hopefully I'll be able to work that out once I get home. 

Bleh, so this was a mostly pointless post, I wanted to ramble about more things but now it's time for class. I don't wanna! Oh well. Later.

 

This is what I'm doing in every in-ride picture on this year's Disney trip.

 I'm already bored at home. There's absolutely no reason for me to come home for spring break, except to be possibly showered with favors from my parents out of their appreciation of seeing me. Really, the only reason I come home is because I'd feel bad if I didn't come see my parents, my dad told me that my momwas already upset because I wasn't even home for a full week since I spent last weekend still up in Mass/NH. I'm already getting bored though. 

One of the saving graces of this break is the discovery of Skype, thanks to Sam's uncharged phone, and my willingness to invest in a webcam. Being able to see him as well as talk to him obviously isn't perfect but it's so much better than just talking on the phone. He's absolutely perfect (yeah I'm being gross but you're choosing to read this!) and I miss him already. AND he may be able to go to Disney with my parents and I AND he may be with his grandparents in PA for the Summer! So things seem like they may work out fantastically. (Knock on wood.)

I still have no idea what I'm doing for housing next year, have to wait to hear whether Ashley and Myste are going to Greece or not I suppose. I kind of would like to get a place off campus, but at the same time I feel like I probably would end up not liking being so far away from everyone. I dunno, frankly as long as I don't have to live with Danielle anymore I'll be happy. I can't imagine anything being much worse than that. 

I fell asleep earlier because I was feeling awful and I still have that weird after feeling of a really bad headache, but I can't get to sleep now since I selpt too much before. So I'm sitting here watching a tv show I've already seen and rambling non-stop pointlessly in this. Bleh, it feels like my head's starting to hurt again, so I suppose I'll try the sleep thing again.

I can kind of watch the lunar eclipse from my window and it's actually pretty fantastic. 

At the moment, it's the only good thing about being in this room. I don't know why but I've finally reached my absolute breaking point. And it's typical me when the one thing reaches the breaking point other things seem worse to me too. 

Ugh. I hate living in here so much.

I'm happy. I really really am. I can't think of anything else I could ask for right now. 

Getting off campus for quite a bit this weekend was really nice. I love it here, but staying here constantly gets tiring. Walking around Boston was fun. Seeing Allie was also fun, of course. And it was fun spending the whole weekend with Sam. 

I'm kind of getting that feeling that there are things I need to be doing that I'm forgetting about or something, but I really have no idea what it could be... Oh well.

And I'm basically over my sickness. 

I'd say things are pretty damned good.

 I feel like I'm dying. And not necessarily slowly. Bleeehhhh. And I almost forgot over break how much I hated living with my roommate >.< 

Other than that I'm happy, very much so. Classes aren't terrible and I don't have immense amounts of work so I get to find lots of time to spend with that awesome boy of mine. Which I really was so worried wouldn't happen. 

I can't even go to sleep until after 12 because my alarm doesn't work until then for some reason. Boo. And I am so tempted to break her damned tv so I don't have to watch these stupid law shows anymore. This is a new one but already the woman's voice is beyond obnoxious. 

But, like I said, other than sickliness and stupid roommates everything is quite good.

Yo, B-more kids. I bring to you, the best shirt ever!

I love it. And want it. I just may have to get it soon.
There's also this one.
And this one.
This one actually may be the favorite.

Those are all for now I suppose. Will post more if I find any particularly good ones.

Anyway, feeling much better today, thankfully. My boyfriend and friends are amazing, they make me happy ^.^